“Donald Trump is not good for America — unless you’re a manufacturer of red hats or spray tan.”
Speaking at a highly exclusive press event held somewhere between Malibu and her mirror, Jenner didn’t hold back. “Listen, I’ve done reality TV. I know fake drama when I see it. And honey, Trump is a whole season of ‘Keeping Up With the Constitution’ gone wrong.”
Sources say Jenner’s speech was interrupted multiple times — not by protestors, but by her own attempts to remember which political party she’s in this month. “I was Republican, then Independent, then confused. But I’ve realized something,” she stated. “You can’t spell Trump without umpf — and that’s the sound America makes every time he talks.”
Asked if she would consider running against Trump herself, Jenner responded, “Only if the Oval Office comes with better lighting and a ring light. I may flip-flop on politics, but never on camera angles.”
Trump has not responded to Jenner’s comments, though sources close to him say he was last seen googling, “Can you ban someone from America if they were born here?”
Satire.
Leave a Reply